Family Nest

    
I am often amazed how much we can learn about life and family from the nature around us. If only we could take time to observe, reflect and learn. In the contemporary world that is a big challenge indeed. Having grown up in Andaman Islands, nature holds a very special place in my life. Sometimes I simply get away from maddening pace in my own life to serene, scenic surroundings to restore my sanity and seek inspiration. I sense God’s creative power and stand in awe of his presence to be refreshed and rejuvenated. Here is a big lesson from a little bird about homebuilding.Weaverbird is a tiny bird, weighing less than two ounces and are mostly found in Africa. They are known for their amazing nest building skills. The nests are a place to call ‘home’ and to raise the young ones. The nest is a great metaphor for families who want to build a nurturing environment for their own young. These lessons were timely in our own lives as we were looking for a new home and expecting our first baby!

Mate Selection: With whom you live in the Nest. For weaverbirds, the male bears most of the responsibility of nest building. Their ability to attract a mate depends on the quality of the nest he could build. The male weaverbirds weaves an amazing pear-shaped nest by stripping leaves or grass into long pieces and weaving and knotting them together to create a watertight nest which hangs from a tree branch. During the mating season, the male hangs from the nest by his feet, fluttering and showing off the bright colored wings. His goal is to attract a female weaverbird’s attention and get her to inspect the nest he has built. It is kind of “proposing to marry” and to move in with him to raise a family.When the female inspects the nest and finds it unacceptable, she flies off in search of a better nest. Then something unusual happens. The male weaverbird rips apart the entire nest and start building all over again, a better nest this time. Some young males try over twenty times before building a nest that a female will accept! When she finally accepts the nest, they live together for life and raising their young ones in that nest.That’s an amazing picture of God’s design for marriage. It shows permanence, exclusivity and lifetime commitment of marriage relationship. The choice of marriage partner is foundational to family life and in raising the next generation. Avoid the temptation to take the metaphor too literally that men should have built a house with their own hands and make it as primarily criteria in choosing your life partner! It only shows that men are called to exhibit leadership in creating the right environment for home and family. It does not mean being a provider or doing chores or any other specific tasks, but to show initiative and responsibility in homebuilding.

Parenting is Teamwork: Together is better. Although male weaverbird takes the lead in building the nest, female joins the homebuilding project after agreeing to the “offer”. The male builds the outside shell of the nest while the female collects grass and soft feathers of her own to line the inside of the nest for comfort and beauty. She lays eggs on the cushioned surface and when they are hatched, both the male and female share the task of feeding and nurturing them to adulthood.Parenting is a joint venture requiring enormous amount of teamwork from both parents. It simply cannot be reduced to a list of tasks or stereotypical roles. Both parents should committed to do all that takes in raising their young ones. Children require complementary strengths of a father and a mother in order to get everything God intended them to have. Both parents should be deeply committed to holistic nurture of the children and intentionally involved in the process.

Parenting requires Skills: Sharpen your tools. Normally it takes a week for the male to build a nest. Not counting the failed attempts in the past! Architects have marveled at the strength and aesthetics of the weaverbird nests because of the absence of right angles and how intricately the strips of fibrous materials are woven together and tied in knots! The entrance to the bulb-like nest is from the bottom and often from a tunnel up to two feet long sticking out from the bottom. The tunnel will collapse under the weight of a predator, but the weaverbird flies up to the entrance, folds back its wings and sails through. When the female finishes her “interior decorating” the weaverbird couple have a skillfully constructed, weather and predator resistant house.The skill and effort expended by the weaverbird on a house can serve as a model for parents in building a home.  Parents need to create a nurturing environment for holistic growth of their children. They need to be committed to not only provide for physical needs, but also build an environment for mental development, emotional maturity and spiritual growth. Home is kind of an incubator where children can be nurtured to be kingdom citizens.

Parenting involves Protection from Enemy: Put up the guards. The weaverbird nests are made to protect them from predators. The most common danger of the weaverbirds is the snakes, which slither through the branches looking for eggs in weaverbird nests. So the weaverbird builds nests near human habitation where there are fewer snakes and builds communities of nests where there is safety in numbers. It also strips the branches of all leaves near the nest that snakes cannot hide behind and could easily be spotted.Parenting today involves protecting our young from serpents that are prowling around like a roaring lion seeking to devour. We need to know our enemy and develop measure that will ensure safety of the young ones entrusted into our care. It might involve multiple levels of counter measures to thwart the enemy’s access to our children, like the weaverbirds. It would involve knowing the enemy, building homes that will keep enemy away and building homes along with others who share your values.

Parenting in community: New Joint Family SystemThe weaverbirds are known to construct a large “umbrella” like covering over many nests, sometimes as big as 5 meters in diameter! This not only provides additional cover from African sun and rain, but it also provides a community setting to live together with other weaverbird families.It takes a village to raise a child. Parenting is never a task done in isolation. Parenting is not meant for lone rangers. There is strength in community and we need to make it work for the next generation. There is a blessing when our children are surrounding by other adults who will reaffirm our own values and faith. As parents you also have responsibility in influencing children of your peers, which is best done in a community. The awesome responsibility of parenting will be easier if we make friends with other parents who have children in the same age group as our own and share similar values and belief system.May these nest building lessons from the weaverbirds inspire you to be more diligent and committed to the task of homebuilding. It is time for you and your spouse to resolve to the awesome responsibility to shape the future by taking on the task of parenting as well knit team, learning and sharpening our skills, building protective guards and establishing nurturing communities. If only we are as wise as weaverbirds, we will impacting the coming generation with godly values and leave a lasting legacy in this world. Build your Nest to shape the future.